Fat, Feces and Funny

 Yesterday I had the opportunity to be the bus driver for some of our school age children at the childcare.  After picking 4 kids up from school they were surprised to see me driving the van rather than their normal bus driver and in their excitement they shouted, "yeah, Pastor Josh, tell us some Bible stories!"  Well, if that doesn't make your day I don't know what does.  After a few different stories in the van one child asked, what is your favorite Bible story?  Well, besides the awesome story of Jesus and his death and resurrection, which I had already discussed, I said, "Oh, well that is easy, I am a youth pastor after all so my favorite story has to be about the really fat king who was killed by the lefthanded man and when the king died he pooped all over himself."  Yeah, I went there.  Instead of hearing how I would tell it, read it for yourself: 

Judges 3:12-30

² And the people of Israel again did what was evil in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord strengthened Eglon the king of Moab against Israel, because they had done what was evil in the sight of the Lord. ¹³ He gathered to himself the Ammonites and the Amalekites, and went and defeated Israel. And they took possession of the city of palms. ¹⁴ And the people of Israel served Eglon the king of Moab eighteen years.

¹⁵ Then the people of Israel cried out to the Lord, and the Lord raised up for them a deliverer, Ehud, the son of Gera, the Benjaminite, a left-handed man. The people of Israel sent tribute by him to Eglon the king of Moab. ¹⁶ And Ehud made for himself a sword with two edges, a cubit in length, and he bound it on his right thigh under his clothes. ¹⁷ And he presented the tribute to Eglon king of Moab. Now Eglon was a very fat man. ¹⁸ And when Ehud had finished presenting the tribute, he sent away the people who carried the tribute. ¹⁹ But he himself turned back at the idols near Gilgal and said, “I have a secret message for you, O king.” And he commanded, “Silence.” And all his attendants went out from his presence. ²⁰ And Ehud came to him as he was sitting alone in his cool roof chamber. And Ehud said, “I have a message from God for you.” And he arose from his seat. ²¹ And Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. ²² And the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his belly; and the dung came out. ²³ Then Ehud went out into the porch and closed the doors of the roof chamber behind him and locked them.

²⁴ When he had gone, the servants came, and when they saw that the doors of the roof chamber were locked, they thought, “Surely he is relieving himself in the closet of the cool chamber.” ²⁵ And they waited till they were embarrassed. But when he still did not open the doors of the roof chamber, they took the key and opened them, and there lay their lord dead on the floor.

²⁶ Ehud escaped while they delayed, and he passed beyond the idols and escaped to Seirah. ²⁷ When he arrived, he sounded the trumpet in the hill country of Ephraim. Then the people of Israel went down with him from the hill country, and he was their leader. ²⁸ And he said to them, “Follow after me, for the Lord has given your enemies the Moabites into your hand.” So they went down after him and seized the fords of the Jordan against the Moabites and did not allow anyone to pass over. ²⁹ And they killed at that time about 10,000 of the Moabites, all strong, able-bodied men; not a man escaped. ³⁰ So Moab was subdued that day under the hand of Israel. And the land had rest for eighty years.

Things to think about:

• Ok, I hope you enjoyed that story as much as I did.  I hope it leaves you with many questions, one of which must be, "what in the world is God doing here and why did he include this story with these details in the Bible to be preserved for all of eternity?"  Good question.  
• The book of Judges has a recycling theme of disobedience, destruction/occupation/suffering, cry for deliverance, rescue, peace, then back to disobedience, etc.  This is one of the first stories of that cycle showing the mercy of God contrasted with the hard hearted nature of the Israelites.  
• Notice how the story starts - "the people did what was evil in the sight of God..." so then God strengthens Israel's enemies.  God gave power to the enemy, gave them strength, caused them to grow in their power over the Israelites.  In that moment God was on the side of the Moabites...at least on a surface level on their side.  When we are actively sinning against God do you think he strengthens our enemies?  Does God fight against us?  He does not want us to stay in our sin, so if it takes suffering and pain to break us out and bring us to a place of desperation then that is loving and kind for him to do.  "It is for discipline that you have to endure.  God is treating you as sons.  For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?"  Hebrews 12:7
• Do you think God put this story in here to be an encouragement for all the left-handed people of the world? God is saying, "you left-handed children of mine are valuable too.  You may not be able to write with a pencil and not smudge everywhere, but you do have a purpose."  I don't know, maybe.  :)  
• I am not sure what great theological significance it was that Eglon the king was so fat the sword was swallowed by his stomach or that when he died the poop came out...and then the great awkward is awesome moments of the guards waiting to go inside because they thought the kings was on the toilet giving time for Ehud to escape and rally an army to go fight and kill 10,000 Moabites.  God deals in the real world with real people.  These stories are not glamorized or made into fictional retellings or myths.  Eglon was just a really fat guy.  Ehud was left-handed.  And God used normal, although awkward, life circumstances to accomplish his purposes.  So, maybe here is a question for you to consider.  Your life is not a movie, not a book, not a fictional glamorized version of reality.  You get sick, you fall short, you mess up, you say dumb things, and yet - God can still work through the reality of your life to accomplish his purposes.  You are not called to destroy 10,000 Moabites, but you are called to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind AND called to love your neighbor as yourself.  You are called to make disciples of all the nations.  You are called to serve, to sacrifice, to forgive, and to preach the good news of Jesus Christ.  Yes, you in your normal life filled with real things like fat and feces.  God doesn't mind getting messy so let him get messy with you.  

Have a great week